Friday, September 10, 2010


This morning I wanted to give you a glimpse into the Lightfeet house.  Yes, this will be humbling and a little embarrassing but I know we are normal, right?  Anyone?  Anyone?  I'll just keep telling myself..."we are normal...we are normal..."

In our house of three (Ahem...) four boys, we are so very privileged to have this wonderful, very thought provoking, very educating, and well written book in our home.    It's 350 pages of everything Nasty and nauseating recipes, jokes, and activities.  It's called The Ultimate Everything Kids' Gross Out Book. 
Don't be jealous.

At first I was thinking "how cute!" this is exactly what my boys need.  Something that tells how to make mud pies, or the different kinds of insects, and tells "dirty" jokes like the white horse fell in the mud.
I. could. not. have. been. more. wrong.

The very first page they turn to...(page 8 mind you) is a Fart Chart.  Oh happy day.  Not only does this wonderful insightful, educating, book tell you what foods "produce" the most gas, but it very thoughtfully gives you a Fart Chart to record how many times a day one person farts.  In fact, did you know that the average person passes gas 14 times a day?  Do you know how many that is times four????  (please don't answer that)

Here is the "rating scale"
1-3 Tiny Tooter
4-7 Big Wind
8-10 Thunderstorm
11-14 Gale Force
15+ Class 5 Hurricane

Now, alot of people know Jacob has this "talent" (as his uncle puts it) to fart on command.  (didn't I say this blog was humbling...)  I WILL NOT go into his number per day.  That is where our blog friendship stops.  Let's just say it's very WRONG.  So, stay away from the beans, broccoli, cabbage, and most of all cauliflower and have a great weekend.  I will as soon as I find the air freshener.

Sincerely (and blushing),

p.s. I NEVER thought I'd say the "F" word that much in a post...


  1. Too funny ... and I wouldn't have guessed Jacob as your boy with that talent! ;)

  2. Ha ha! Where can we get this book? lol